thatwasthen

Not-So-Well-Known Cliches…

September 15, 2009

One of the keys to success in writing lyrics for me is to twist well-known ideas and cliches and “make them my own” so to speak. A few of these never made the cut, but they’re worth a quick look! Feel free to show them to your trite friends!

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“If at first you don’t succeed… get a new group of friends and just pretend you did.”

“A bird in the hand… could carry many diseases. WASH YOUR HANDS!”

“A penny saved… is completely worthless if it don’t come with millions of brothers, and even THEN you probably only have a few thousand dollars, so dont go pissin’ your pants over it.”

“Stop, drop… and scream, ‘HOLY FUCKING SHIT I’M BURNING ALIVE!”

“A day without sunshine… is like… pretty fuckin’ dark.”

“An apple a day… could kill you with all the pesticides nowadays.”

“If you can’t beat ‘em… shoot ‘em.”

“You can’t teach an old dog…” (That’s it… you just can’t. They get to a certain point and they either stop listening or just lose their hearing.)

“One man’s garbage… CONSISTENTLY ENDS UP ON MY FUCKING DOORSTEP!”

“A rolling stone… died yesterday I think.”

“Where there is smoke… there’s some huge bear with a hat beating the living shit out of some pyromaniac kid.”

“When life hands you lemons… squeeze the juice into a watergun and squirt people in the eyes.”

“Money is… totally cool.”

“The best thing since… internet porn!”

“If you can’t stand the heat… take off your clothes.”

“Don’t bite the hand… of the Queen Of England.”

“Even a blind squirrel… gets a little action from time to time, even if it is his sister and he doesn’t know it.”

“The grass is always greener… when it’s chemically engineered by scientists who can tamper with chloroplast levels thereby making it possible to attain optimal shades of green.”

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Posted by Brenton Sinay on in Brenton Sinay

Tagged with: , cliches, oddball quotes, quotes, sayings, updated cliches