People who can buzz right off – the definitive list

Here’s a running list of people I don’t like…

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~People who drive exactly the same speed as the car in the lane right next to them on a two lane street.

~People who use the ATM twice in a row – they finish, their card and receipt pop out, and, oops, they’ve forgotten something, and start all over. Oops, my ass — back of the line!

~Old people in general. The only time I appreciate old people is when they’re falling down stairs.

~Talk show hosts. All of  ‘em.

~People who think they are better than others. Those kinds of people are so beneath me!

~Bridget Fonda. She’s horrible. See that Jet Li movie she’s in. JET LI does a better acting job!

~Another ATM person: the one who waits in line for five minutes, finally gets up to the machine, and then starts filling out the deposit envelope.

~Ungrateful bums. A bum must do something to get money from me. TAP DANCE! SING! COMPOSE A SYMPHONY!

~People who use the term, “Larger-Than-Life”.

~Garth, Michael Knight’s evil, goateed twin in the Knight Rider TV series. (He was soooo evil!)

~People who assume that when someone asks, “Can I help the next person?” that they are the next person, when in fact they are not the next person; I am the next person!

~People who who tell me it is their birthday before they say anything else to me, thereby never giving me a chance to say “Happy Birthday”. As if I didn’t know!

~Whomever is responsible for putting “Survivor” on the air.

~Whomever is refusing to take it off the air.

~People who eat something disgusting and say, “Ewww! This tastes horrible! Taste it.”

~Nicky – The bully I chased, who was chasing my best friend in Kindergarten and subsequently made me break my shin on the edge of a table when I was about 5.

~”Bleeding Gums” Murphy. I’m sooo glad he’s dead. He woulda raped Lisa anyway.

~People who laugh at any show on the WB.

~The motherfucker who invented the camera that takes pictures of your car running red lights. It was YELLOW!

~Jerry Bruckheimer.

~People who put dozens of stuffed animals in the back window of their cars. If they’re old enough to drive, they should be old enough to ditch their childhood toys.

~People who work out at the gym more than twice a week. Not because they have good bodies… but because they have more discipline than I do.