My Mistake

Sure, I’ve done regrettable things in my life. I’ve chosen the wrong path. I’ve tasted the wrong ice cream flavor. Trusted the wrong person.

I know I’ve also done things in my life I will never cease to be proud of. The kind of impromptu, spur-of-the-moment, caution-to-the-wind thing, and it’s never blown up in my face.

My point is that I’m tired of torturing myself for the things I haven’t or did do, and the repercussions ensuing. I am a confident, brash, focused individual who realizes the error of his ways. THEN I beat myself up over them. Then I question them, examine them and grow from them. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do?

I remember describing myself in an earlier post about Benny Dacks during Christmas where I mentioned how much I love dwelling on the horror and shock of misfortune instead of being a problem solver. How my initial reaction to a difficult situation was to lament that moment and spend useless energy recruiting others to justify my stance. But I began to realize that the energy spent spreading hate and negativity costs twice as much than to ignore the feelings of disgust and malice and choose to focus on the positive things.

This is how I will learn. This is how I will grow. And as I push further into the deep, dark woods of my being, and the beautiful pain and divine torment of life and all it is to know and be in this wicked world, I will know I can always turn around and say, “thatwasthen”.

Change is inevitable, growth is a choice.